I don’t doubt that the hostess was rude to your husband, possibly because she is racist. That being said from a restaurant worker’s perspective, it is unlikely that she is the reason he was missing the burger upgrade. Unless the cook could somehow see your husband and was also racist or the host went to the back and told the cook to skip the brown guy’s extras and then somehow the cook agreed. Cooks move fast and they don’t intentionally leave stuff off burgers just to piss people off.
As a brown person with a brown family and brown friends, we don’t experience racism nearly as much as other people on Reddit say they do. maybe we’re just lucky, but racism to me doesn’t seem as widespread. just because someone is an asshole or wants to give me a hard time doesn’t mean I should conclude that they are racist lmao. this is why current America scares me. racism has nothing to do with trump. racism was alive and well with Obama and every president before him.